This time last year (minus a few days), I had mentally declared that 2009 would be The Year Of No Fear. Being the sometimes incredibly impressionable person that I am, I remember reading somewhere that more often than not, our own fears stop us from getting what we want out of life (whatever that may be). For me: to be happy.
I was not afraid to:
- Do things on my own like go to gigs by myself, especially if I really wanted to see something that nobody else wanted to see (namely Lykke Li, Pivot/Metronomy, Sia).
- Challenge myself physically by completing the City2Surf, agreeing to walk ~31km from Manly to Palm beach, starting up with squash and dragon boating.
- Change mobile telephone providers (and lose my free, unlimited, Vodafone to Vodafone 20 min off-peak calls). This is a much bigger deal than it sounds, hopefully explained somewhat by the context below.
- Start to let go of old friendships. Sometimes people grow apart. You kind of realise that you’ve become different people. You have different values. You have barely any common interests, besides a history that’s been repeated so often it’s no longer nostalgia and just… pathetic. Talking on the phone seems to be more like listening to the other complain for hours, with their steadfast refusal of actually trying to work at their problems. It becomes a huge drain mentally.
I was afraid to:
- Let go completely. Or at least afraid to be completely honest, before things deteriorated the way they did. And I guess being honest to all my close friends in general. I should let them know how I feel if I feel like they’ve done something to let me down.
- Come out to my family. I don’t think there are any excuses for this one. Especially after my sister came back to Sydney for two weeks and had gone through my book/DVD collection. Or that time I told her I started dragon boating and she asked what kind of team it was. Or whenever my Mum asks if I’m seeing someone.
- Speak to people I don’t know. Not necessarily to (try to) pick up, but just to make conversation in general. Either in social situations, or at work. People (strangers) seem to terrify me.
- Take swimming lessons. OK, this one was more “too lazy” as opposed to “too afraid.” Still can’t swim. Gotta look into lessons for 2010!
- Take charge of my career. I’m choosing being comfortable over the uncertainty that comes with pursuing what I’m interested in.
I guess the above will also form the things I want to achieve for 2010.
My theme song (oh, how Alley McBeal!) for 2009, which will probably continue for this year:
Apt.
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One thing I admire a lot about the little imaginary “you” figure in my head is that you’re always so amazingly (and sometimes brutally) honest in whatever you write, all the while being both agreeable and eloquent. It’s quite a strange thing.
It leads me to ask the question of how many people you know closely read this blog? For quite obvious reasons it wouldn’t be your family, but I know a great deal of my friends have read my page at one time or another and never mentioned things that I have said.
Casting that aside, my resolution for the following year is to speak less, as I tend to say the stupidest things in some situations.
I think your goals are far more achievable. I may even take some as my own.
I think only about 3 of my close friends (none of who I am referring to in the above post) read my blog, or know of its existence from me telling them. But it’s not overly difficult to find, if they happen to check my Twitter profile, or Last.fm profile, or Google Reader shared items profile thing.
I’d say that plays a big part in why I’m able to write what I write. I don’t feel restricted in what I can say and can vent to my heart’s content.
Feel free to take some goals, so long as you share their achievement
Overture ROCKS! =)
I think you’ve made a wicked start to twenty ten. Keep it up! I’ll be cheering from row 9!
Thank you from row 2